What A Joke :)

During the last days of the reign of cruel Czar Nicholas, a Jew fell into the Moskva River and was in imminent danger of drowning.

“Help! Help! I can’t swim!” screamed the terror-stricken Jew.

A squad of the Czar’s soldiers, loitering on the bank, laughed derisively, making no move to help the doomed man.

“Save me!” bellowed the poor soul again. But the soldiers only laughed louder.

“Down with the Czar-up with the revolution” screamed the nimble-witted Jew as he was going under for the third time.

The soldiers immediately jumped into the river and dragged the man to safety.

“We’ll teach you to deface the sacred name of the Czar,” they roared as they hauled the grinning Jew to jail.

Poem About Shayna

Shayna Fagel Roetter
Has the ability to love
Always a great sister
You’ll find her with her friends
Never gets angry (almost never)
A caring person

Funny
Amazing
Gives hugs
Enjoys being with the family
Laughs

Really sweet
Outstanding mind
Entertaining
Thoughtful
Together we go places
Enjoys life
Really something
Made By: Dovid Roetter

Poem About Dovid

My name is Dovid Roetter.

I’m such a great brother.

I like to eat and read,

And eat sunflower and pumpkin seeds.

My nickname is Nissy,

And no I’m not a sissy.

I’m pretty good in school,

And swimming in the pool.

I have a great mind,

And out I like to dine.

Listening to music I like to do,

And looking at the animals in the Detroit Zoo.

Now I am Bar Mitzvah, a great time in my life,

Oh how I also love to write.

I write things just for fun, right out of a bag,

That’s why I’m writing The Roetter Mag.

Poem About Dovid

Dovid Nissan Roetter
O’s on his report card are common
Very good student
Ideally he’s a great kid
Does a lot of writing

Never misbehaves (well almost never)
In school he does good
So nice
Sports I’m not so good at
Acts like an angel
Not annoying (I’m not, I’m not)

Runs to do things
Outstanding mind
Eats a lot
To listen to music is what I like
Teach is what I might do
Entertaining
Reads a lot

My Admirers

I admire Rabbi Greenfield because… He always is good to have around whenever you feel sad; him just walking over to you makes your day better. Just a “good morning” or a “how’s everything?” lightens you up. I really appreciate all he’s done since I joined this school. All I can say is two words: THANK YOU!!

I admire Rabbi Amzalak because… He never stopped believing in me. He understands me in almost any situation. He has a kind heart and loves me for who I am. Like I said, he’s a very smart, kind and loving person. I will always remember what he has done for me and continues to do for me to this day. I really appreciate what he has done for me; I just can’t thank him enough…


I admire my Family because… No matter what, they are there for me, telling me to stand up for myself. Although they can be annoying sometimes (unlike me, of course) they really love me and care for me. I rally admire the fact that they always stick-up for each other as they should. I also appreciate the time they give up just for me, for example my bar mitzvah, they gave up hours, days, weeks even months to give me the best bar mitzvah a boy could want, and the best present I got was: the fact that they were all there. Thank you to my brothers and sisters: Malcah, Shayna, Clara, Pesha, Meir and Menachem. Again Thank You!

A Letter To Me From Shayna

To Whom It May Concern…

I’ve known Dovid Nissan, well, all his life really. I even knew his life before he did - some of it anyway. What I didn’t know was how Dovid would become. I didn’t know the choices he’d make or the way he would change his surroundings.

Dovid Nissan was not just a miracle baby, he was a miracle child and now still a miracle for those blessed to know him. He has from the start a very caring, sharing & loving heart. Dovid’s empathetic soul is the reason for all the many hugs, kisses & loving nature that is his alone. His wisdom, understanding, care and concern; as well as his desire for the written word, surely resembles that of Dovid Hamelech (King David) whom he is named for.

Dovid Nissan Roetter is a name you will hear time and time again. (Not just because his mother is calling him.) The reason; his passion. Dovid has a unique and remarkable talent for writing. He has been telling, creating& writing stories since the very beginning. In anything he chooses to accomplish, Dovid is sure to become a success.

Impressively,

~Ms.Shayna Fagel Roetter

My Autobiography

THE EDITOR’S STORY…
I was born on November 5th, 1994. I was a two pound one oz. baby. I was in the hospital about (after leaving and coming back) two months, I believe. I was in an incubator for who- knows- how long. I had a bris when I was three and a half months old (born in Kislev, bris was after Purim). I was born with a twin brother (who I think was four and a half pounds) who is two minutes older and had his bris after Chanukah. According to the doctors I was so sick and small that I was supposed to pass-away and Menachem was supposed to be really sick. Then the doctors tried something brand-new on us and we lived and are in Medical History for it. My name, Dovid Nissan, is after Dovid Ha-Melech, who also was supposed to pass-away but lived. My second name, Nissan, is from the shoresh, the root of the word, nais meaning miracle. It’s truly a miracle I lived. So now I’m alive and a good Jew, for more of my life keep reading…
My upsherin was on the third of Kislev 1997. It was my first haircut. It also was a great cake. Talking about cake, when I was around two or three I bit into a “cake” of soap, not too tasty! Then when I was about seven or eight I met Yaakov Docks in Ganainu. Now for school... I started in a school for pre-nursery and nursery. My Morahs were Morah Miriam (my mother) and Morah Chaya. Pre-1A I joined Bais Yehudah and had Morah Lauer. In First grade I had Rabbi Kaplan and Mrs. McFarland. 2nd: grade: Rabbi Kranczer and Mrs. Weitzman. Third grade I had Rabbi Weiss & Mrs. Batt (for regular class) & Mrs. Cohen (for reading). 4th was Rabbi Stewart & Mrs. Ellienstien. In 5th grade I had Rabbi Shapiro and Mrs. Hochheiser. 6th: Rabbi Schienberg and Mrs. Mewhort (for reg. class), Mrs. Hochheiser (for math). In 7th grade I had Rabbi Newman & Rabbi P. (for A.M. History) Mr. Levitin (math) Mrs. Foner (English)
Mr. Silver (computers) and Mrs. Gotlib (science)
This year in 8th grade have Rabbi Moller, Rabbi Aisenstark (J.H.), Mr. Levitin (math), Mrs. Hochheiser (English), Mr. Silver (computers), and Mr. Stern (science). Now you know my teachers. Now you probably want to know how I do in school. Well to answer your question I’m not going to use names. Most of my years were pretty good. One year for math I got a really bad grade. One year (I can’t say which subject because then it’s obvious) I did really poorly. In Hebrew I’m really good at Navi; pretty good at Chumash and Halacha, but Gemora I have a hard time. So that’s pretty much my school life so far.
Now for an exciting moment in my life: my Bar Mitzvah! Well I spent my 12th year of my life studying the Maamer (something Lubavitchers say at 13) and my laining (I lained maftir of Parshas Va-Yeitze). All of my sisters came home from far and near and worked really hard preparing: clothes, center-pieces, one sister made a beautiful slide show, another one made great guest books etc… my mother planned the events. Friends of ours made the food. My father bought our tiffilin and took us to New York for our first aliya. It was great. On shabbos we had a beautiful Kiddush. On Sunday we had a marveoulous party: with music, dancing, ice cream sundaes, it was great. So that pretty wraps up my life until now. I hope you enjoy the rest of my paper; I worked really hard on it. Have a great life, I am!

Pesha At Her L'chaim In Detroit

My Bar Mitzvah Monogram

Thank You So Much Pesha!!

Mother's Day Poem '08

One day for you is not enough,
This card is really just a bluff.
We love you each moment, second and day,
For this you do not have to pay.
You nursed from a child,
You care for me even when I’m wild.
From my birth till my bar mitzvah you always had trouble,
Especially since you had to pay double.
I have so much to thank you for every single day,
For letting me grow in a torah way.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

The Move

One day as you’re sitting at home, your parents bring the news,
“Honey we are moving this next Tues.”
You think, what about my friends, teachers and school,
We had so much fun at the mall and at the pool.

You come to the new place, with no friends with you,
You realize that you have to start anew.
On your block there’s someone your age,
But you don’t know how to even come onto that page.
Then it comes to you in an instant,
From now on you won’t be at a distance.

Chorus: Because there’s something in the air called Friendship,
All you have to do is grab onto it.
With friends you’ll play, laugh and sing,
They’ll be coming to your new house with a ding-dong-ding.

Don’t forget you can always write,
To your old friends, or even take a flight.
So don’t say good-bye, just see you later,
I’ll talk to you later, Alligator. (Chorus)

As the months go by,
You realize with a happy sigh.
You’ve made lots of new friends now,
You say: How can I leave here, oh how?!?!”
You spend time and time again with your new buds,
And without thinking you know it’s because:
There’s something in the air called Friendship,
All you have to do is grab onto it.
With friends you’ll play, laugh and sing,
They’ll be coming to your new house with a ding-dong-ding.

Because there’s something in the air called Friendship,
All you have to do is grab on to it. © ~Dovid Nissan Roetter

Dedicated In Honor Of My Going Away To A New Yeshivah

Purim '08 Poem

A Frailichen Purim from me to you,
Is what we say to every single Jew.
Here’s some candy and nosh galore,
Don’t forget to give money to the poor.
Mordechai and Esther saved the day,
Let’s all go cheer: Yay! Hooray!
Eat and drink, let’s be merry,
But please do not be wary.
Blessed be Haman Cursed be Mordechai,
Or is it visa-versa? I’m not sure why.
Haman was hung up so high,
I’m sorry to say, but this is good-bye.
A Frailichen Purim ~Dovid Nissan Roetter

Pesha & Mendy's Wedding Poem

Pesha & Mendy a couple to be,
All their good middos everyone will see.
A Lubavitch family you both come from,
So pick a niggun and let’s start to hum.
Their name will soon be Azoulay,
We hope their tiffilos will reach up into the sky.
As the Azoulay and Roetter families come together,
We wish them the best of luck forever and ever.
As you gaze upon each other,
Think that you’ll soon be father and mother.
Mazel Tov Pesha!Mazel Tov Mendy!
Your Brother(-In-Law), Dovid Nissan Roetter

Dedicated In Honor Of Their Wedding

Pesha & Mendy's L'chaim Poem

L’chaim l’chaim to the two families,
Let them grow and flourish in Hashem’s garden of trees.
Two countries, two Jews now are “united”,
Azoulay and Roetter will soon be connected.
We are so happy for you to be wed,
May you soon have little mouths waiting to be fed.
You each have your talents from Hakadosh Baruch Hu,
Use them to your fullest for a life that is true.
As you are passed in the street by a Jew,
He’ll say “Mazel Tov from me to you!”
Mazel Tov Pesha Leah!! Mazel Tov Mendy!!
Made By: Brother-of-the-Kallah, Dovid Nissan Roetter

Our Office Staff At YBY

(Dean)

Rabbi Fishman you do a lot; to keep the school running even when it gets hot.

Every day I learn something new; it’s been a great year for us two.

It’s been a great year for you; and of course for me too. I have so much to thank you for; from when I come in till I walk out the door.

(Assistant Dean)

Rabbi Greenfield you like the birds in the sky; which in a flock so high they fly. You always talk to me when I’m down; you can wipe away any size frown.

It’s been a great year for you; and of course for me too. I have so much to thank you for; from when I come in till I walk out the door.

(Assistant Principal)

Rabbi Grossbard you do a great amount for the little children; including lots of programs like Honorable “Mentch”en. You work so hard to keep them flowing; because of you klall yisroel is growing.

It’s been a great year for you; and of course for me too. I have so much to thank you for; from when I come in till I walk out the door.

(English Principal)

Mrs. Colbert I know you understand; a great year I have had. You have always helped me see (the right path); you always say “what a great boy is he”.

It’s been a great year for you; and of course for me too. I have so much to thank you for; from when I come in till I walk out the door.

(Secretaries)

To the secretaries who type so much; why don’t you go take a break for lunch? You type everything including the YBY Times; which is great to the very last line.

It’s been a great year for you; and of course for me too. I have so much to thank you for; from when I come in till I walk out the door.

To The Office Staff, Thank You So Much For All Your Hard Work!!

I'm Sorry!

The Thief?
By: Dovid Nissan Roetter

“I can’t believe I just did that! How could I have done something so humiliating, like destroying his Bar Mitzvah?!” I thought.

Whoops! I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me start with an introduction. My name is Chaim Dov Bloch. I’m in the 9th grade of Yeshivas Mordechai Ha-Tzaddik in Chicago, Illinois. I was considered the head of the class, so to speak. Until the unthinkable happened.

I thought it was going to be a great day, when I awoke on that tragic day of March 23rd, 2006. But I was wrong! I was very wrong! From that day, my life started going downhill.

It all started when I woke up at 7:15 a.m. and groggily reached for my watch. Now let me tell you something about this watch of mine. It was a solid gold watch, given to me by my great-grandmother ע"ו on my Bar Mitzvah. Only one month later, she passed away. All of a sudden, I sat straight up, wide awake. It was gone! My beautiful watch was gone! I turned the room inside-out an outside-in, but it was in vain. My watch was nowhere to be found.

I-I-I was just devastated. I-I couldn’t believe it. Only a few days after Purim, the happiest time of the year, I lost my most precious possession. I was so careful with it and like that *snap*, it was gone. I felt like crying. I was so upset that I felt sick all over. I dreaded telling my parents, who knows what they’ll do to me?

I went to school that day and asked everyone I could, if they saw my watch. They all said no. all of a sudden, I remembered that Yaakov Levin was playing with it yesterday, and even said that he wished he had a watch like mine. I immediately confronted Yaakov and demanded that he returns my watch to me. He said he has no idea what I’m talking about, he never took it. I screamed that he’s a liar. He answered back that I’m a *beep*. At the end of the day, I didn’t have my watch back in my hands.

I went home so furious that I was sure I could melt an ice cube by just glancing at it. I had to get Yaakov back. But how? How to do it? It had to be the sweetest, most cunning revenge yet, I thought to myself while drifting off to sleep.

Shortly after Pesach, I got an invitation in the mail. Do you know whose it was? That’s right; it was an invitation to Yaakov Levin’s Bar Mitzvah! Now I had the greatest, most foolproof revenge ever in history. I will DESTROY his Bar Mitzvah! But how?

The next day in school, everyone was talking about Yaakov’s party. Now Yaakov Levin’s parents were, well, pretty rich. There was even a rumor that the party was going to be like, if not better than, a wedding! Everyone was asking each other if they were going. Then it clicked! I knew how to destroy Yaakov’s Bar Mitzvah! I had a plan! Boy, did I have a plan! He-He-He!!!

All of a sudden, Shlomo came up to me and asked, “Hey Chaim, you ganna go? I heard they’re having a full-fledge band!”
Then Moishy added, “Yah, I heard they’re having an amazing dessert!”
And on, and on. Do you know what I did? I just gave them all a glare, a menacing glare. It was clear to them all that it meant explicitly this: ‘Whoever goes to the Bar Mitzvah will be rejected from the class, and humiliated like never before’. They were scared. They knew that everyone listens to me, and whatever I say is, well, law. Yet they wanted to go so badly. But they were stuck.

The day of the Bar Mitzvah arrives. As Shuir was ending, Yaakov reminded everyone about that night. “Remember, tonight’s my Bar Mitzvah Party at Maachon La-Torah at 6:30 p.m.”. “We’ll be there Yaakov!” we all chorused. But in our hearts we knew not.

At 12:15 Yaakov left for his shul, Maachon La-Torah, to help set up. If you would’ve walked in right then, you’d have gone nuts! His cousins were setting the tables; his aunts were getting the VCR ready for a production. And his mother?! Oh! I’d rather not say! She was hustling all over, calling the caterers and the bakers, making sure that the popcorn and slurpee machines ere intact. The band was tuning their instruments to perfection. The Bar Mitzvah Bochur was studying his Maamer in Hebrew, Yiddish and English, as he’s going to be saying it in all three languages, so anyone who comes can understand. The caterers were trying to rearrange the foods the proper way. And-and-and-and it was just a full-fledge zoo!

Comes 6:15 and some guests start to show up, yet no one from his class. He was, well not scared, but more like anxious, for normally classmates start to show up fifteen or twenty minutes early. But, he thought to himself, maybe they don’t have a ride or something. Comes 6:30, lots of great rabbis start to show up and respected people in the community, yet no one from his class. We-e-ll, maybe they’ll come a bit late, it’s not like them, but maybe.

At 7:15 the Rav said a beautiful Dvar Torah on the Parsha that Yaakov read so fluently the day before. Then Yaakov, himself, said a Dvar Torah on the Haftorah. It was now 8:30. Yaakov said the Maamer by heart perfectly in all three languages. Still no one from the class showed up.

Yaakov was heart-broken. Outside, he didn’t show it, but he was so hurt that not a soul from his class showed up. He knew that this was o coincidence. But why did this happen, he did not understand.

The next day in school, Yaakov walks in downcast. He went over to Shlomo and asked him, “What happened last night? How come you didn’t come?” To this Shlomo answered, “I had an appointment which I couldn’t miss, I’m sorry.” Everyone had a different excuse: no ride, had to baby-sit, help their family, etc… etc…

Then he comes to me. He said, “Chaim? We’re good friends. I was certain you’d be there!” Do you know what I did? I, in a nasty way, pulled up my sleeve, looked at my empty wrist and said meanly, “I didn’t have my watch; I couldn’t keep track of the time. It’s not my fault.” And I turned on my heels and left.

Now Yaakov knew. He understood it was all my doing. All because I thought he took my watch. Yaakov ran home, crying bitterly.

Chanukah passes and Purim is fast approaching. I decided to use my same costume as last year, Captain Scarface (the best pirate), only better. I went to my storage and found the Purim box. I opened it up, in the light, and I saw something glittering.

I quickly dug through the box, and there I saw it. It was my watch! I couldn’t believe it! For the past year, I thought Yaakov stole it, and here, I just found it with the Purim box! Oy vey! What have I done?!?!

The next day I found Yaakov, and in tears, I burst out to him, “I’m so sorry, I thought you stole my watch and I just remembered that I put it with my costume so it won’t get stolen by someone who’s drunk.” And I’m crying and crying and crying. “Please will you forgive me for ruining your Bar Mitzvah, please?”

“Look”, said Yaakov. “I can’t forgive you so easily, I can’t.”

“Please, please forgive me!” I begged.

“No, I can’t. I’m sorry.” he replied.

I had to do something, I had to. But what? Then I knew. I destroyed his party, so I must make a new one, a better one, for his 14th birthday.

The next day, I called together all the kids in the class and asked them to help put together a party for Yaakov’s birthday. They agreed. So for the next month, I was planning, ordering and shopping etc...

The day of the party arrives. I rush to Maachon La-Torah after school. My friends and I start setting up. Menachem is getting his piano ready. The mothers are helping with the food. I then get the VCR in position for a clip I put together about Yaakov. We worked for hours.

At 6:15 I call Yaakov’s house and ask him to please come to Maachon La-Torah right away. He said he’ll be there.

Yaakov came and we surprised him with a great party. At 8:15 I got up onto the podium and addressed the crowd.

“First of all, I’d like to wish Yaakov a happy birthday and many more. Now, um… I-I’d like to publicly ask forgiveness of Yaakov. For the past year, I thought he stole my grand watch. Not only that, but I destroyed his Bar Mitzvah, as well. Yaakov, will you please forgive me, for what I’ve done? Can you find it in your heart to forgive?”

Yaakov just said, with tears in his eyes, one word: “YES”.

Moral: You must (1) always be דן לכף זכות, judge each other favorably, and (2) You must always know how to ask forgiveness. With this in mind, let us beg מחילה from הקב"ה on this Yom Kippur. May ה' forgive us whole-heartily and bring משיח speedily in our days, Amen!